Walk Away

Recently, I went to a debate camp thing. I do Policy debate which if anyone knows anything about it, it's hell. I decided that the camp would be a good idea for me to get better and for me to fully get a grasp on the topic and debate style. The camp started and all was good, I was enjoying it; the people were mostly younger than me. We started doing research and practicing debates and then everything around me came crashing down. I was suddenly so stressed and couldn't handle myself anymore, I was counting down hours before I could go home. That was when I realized that it's okay to say goodbye. It's okay to walk away and it's okay to not want to do something anymore. We are so hellbent over committing permanently to something without realizing that commitment doesn't have to be forever. It's okay to put yourself first. <3

High School Doesn't Have to Suck

From the day I entered elementary school, I was dreaming about being a teenager in high school. High School Musical and Hannah Montana made me believe that high school was all about driving to cool places, spending weekends with friends at the beach and living a fun, carefree life. Here’s the problem: gas is expensive, I don’t live near a beach and I care too much to be carefree. When I finally entered freshman year, my magical high school dream came to a sudden halt. It felt as though I went from a fun, bubbly kid to a self-conscious teen within seconds. The girls had nicer hair, they were thinner, they wore makeup and then there was me- a kid. Within a few days I had made a group of friends and things started looking better (still no High School Musical though, where was all the lunchtime singing?). My AP Government teacher told me to join a club. A cute senior dragged me into speech and debate, and of course I agreed to join. I was awkward, soft-spoken and shy at first, but once I found myself in the community, my voice spoke for itself and I made new friends that I stayed with through high school. Slowly, I was finding myself within my school. But then the bullies came along. I didn’t understand why someone felt the need to call me names and then run off giggling about it, but I shrugged it off. Classes got harder and kids got ruder as the year progressed. Upperclassmen told me that I was just a freshman, things change. Things didn’t change. I changed my perspective. Sophomore year hit me before I could even comprehend that freshman year was over. I made the decision to take 6 advanced placement classes; quickly I learned that stress was a thing. I spent my days flustered over what I had to accomplish, typically achieving next to nothing. Had I simply sat myself down and made a list of all the things that need to be done, how they would be done and by when I would finish them, I would not have been a stressed mess. Disorganization was my worst enemy but laziness became my best friend. Junior year was by far the most difficult, but I learned more than I thought I possibly could, both about myself and within the world. I started an anti-bullying foundation within my school because I wanted to make a change. This is probably the highlight of the last 4 years of my life because I know that I can make a change; I can change something that very directly affected me. The ACT and SAT were creeping up on me, I had another butt-load of AP classes (I think this proves that we forget pain after it’s gone), I had 2 competitive sport but none of that mattered- I was alone. If I could go back and change one thing, it’s forgetting my friend because of trying to fill out a resume for a college application. The best moments from high school that I have made so far are the ones that involved my friends, even prom. So here’s a quick list for all those that are going into high school: Join a club and get involved with your school. Don’t gossip. I cannot stress this enough. Manage your load in a way that you know you can handle. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Get a planner and regularly write out what you have yet to do. Make time for yourself. High school is a hard time in everyone’s life, but it’s what we make it. In the words of Hannah Montana, “life’s what you make it so let’s make it right.” Wake up with a smile, knowing you can make a difference.

Traveling Alone

Recently I went to Slovakia by myself to visit friends and family. It was tons of fun and the freedom felt great until bumps in my road occurred. Traveling alone on a budget isn't easy. I often would skip lunch because I didn't have the cash to buy something. But I still had a good time. I realized that money doesn't grow on trees and it is indeed limited. Right when I got home I went on a massive shopping spree but it felt good. On the way home, all 3 of my flights got delayed and instead of a 16 hour trip, it was a 25 hour trip. I realized that while I may be mature and independent, I still need my mom to answer questions like "my flight got delayed and I will miss my connection, what do I do?" But I learned. And I got 2 tattoos, one of which is a friendship tattoo with a best friend of mine. Fun days. -Sylvia Karjala

Nothing is Permanent

I've been super busy doing things that are stressful, time consuming, or frankly things I'd rather not be doing. Every time I go to work I have to remind myself to smile and to be respectful because nothing is permanent. Every bad time passes, every final is at some point over, every job at one point ends and every feeling goes away whether it be good or bad. Through tough times, though its difficult, you have to remind yourself to smile and push through the storm because eventually, it WILL end.

Finals

As the end of the year approaches, finals season is upon us. I just wanted to remind any passer-by that you CAN do this. You can push through! I know this time of year is beyond stressful but take a step back and remember your goals, what you're thankful for and take a minute for yourself! Finals suck but they are not the end of the world nor are they impossible. You know more than you think you do and you can do more than you realize. Stressed out at work? Remember to breathe, smile, take one thing at a time and realize that nothing is permanent. No bad feelings last forever and enjoy the fun ones while they last. Just keep climbing! Love always.

Don't Look Back

Sometimes, when things end, it's best to leave it at that and move on. The boy that I dated December 2014-June 2015 decided that it would be appropriate to message me again saying sorry. While I appreciate the gesture, it would have been better to leave things alone. The other day he told me he loves me. Something I find really irritating is that he throws those words around like candy. They're supposed to actually mean something, right? Don't come asking for me back when it was you who left. Don't come telling me I'm amazing, that's not what I want to hear. Tell me you're sorry and leave. Or don't come back in the first place. But don't you dare tell me you love me and want me back. You don't know what love is.

Secrets and Lies

We've all got our little secrets or white lies but when is it too much? In all honesty, I've been exploring the world around my through the eyes of someone else. I pretended to be someone else. I basically lived two lives: The one that all my friends were aware of, and the one that no one knew about. So basically only about 30% of people who talked to me regularly, actually knew me. The first round of my double life, I became too stressed out and decided to kill one of me. The second time around I got shut down and now I realize it was for the better. Whatever you're lying about, don't convince yourself that it's okay, it's not. Lots of love.