Walk Away

Recently, I went to a debate camp thing. I do Policy debate which if anyone knows anything about it, it's hell. I decided that the camp would be a good idea for me to get better and for me to fully get a grasp on the topic and debate style. The camp started and all was good, I was enjoying it; the people were mostly younger than me. We started doing research and practicing debates and then everything around me came crashing down. I was suddenly so stressed and couldn't handle myself anymore, I was counting down hours before I could go home. That was when I realized that it's okay to say goodbye. It's okay to walk away and it's okay to not want to do something anymore. We are so hellbent over committing permanently to something without realizing that commitment doesn't have to be forever. It's okay to put yourself first. <3

How to Handle Stress

Let's be real- school, relationships, work, life in general gets stressful. So far this year I've cut off a relationship, started working, started 2 new leadership roles, and basically I'm going crazy. My stress-release is the gym but with my new diet designed for cutting, my lack of simple carbs is making me cranky. I find it amusing that I genuinely enjoy going to work- pushing carts, bagging groceries, cleaning spills... doesn't sound too glamorous does it? Somehow work is really lovely for me. I love most of my coworkers. When it comes to school, my stress level is breaking me. So at the end of the day.. school still sucks. Love always.

Back to school

It's time to go back! We've come so far. We can do this! I went hiking last weekend in the high tatras and it was like a dream. It was ethereal. I've got to admit I will greatly miss summer but I've made beautiful memories and I won't forget them. I've met amazing people and gone to wonderful new places creating lovely new experiences. I'm lucky I've gotten to see so much of the world at such a young age and I'm blessed with the best people. Thank you ❤️

Slovakian Adventures

This summer has been blissful. I've met so many wonderful people and have created so many new beautiful memories. I've explored a new faith and fallen in love with the world. My friend has been rooming with me for a week now and we decided to go for a Friday outing to go dancing and whatnot but 10 minutes into our adventure we were approached by boys in their low 20s.They said they were visiting Bratislava and wanted 2 pretty girls to show them around so we decided to show them to a few pubs. We ended up spending the whole night with them. My friend went off with one of them and I was stuck with the remaining 2 which wasn't bad but one of them was incredibly touchy which is awkward being taken and all. But it was a night I won't forget. I was flattered to have been approached. This summer I grew. I fell in love and opened my eyes. I'm ready to take on the next year and genuinely enjoy it. Thank you Slovakia. I love you.

Free at last

The thing with breakups is that it takes time. Before my ex and I broke up, I thought it would hurt endlessly to lose him but the thing is I'm free now. I'm free to be who I want to be. I can go to whatever university in whatever state I want to go to, not dictated by his choosing. He's going to certain university? I don't have to go there. He's going to live in a certain state? I don't have to live there. He's going to ignore me for days and then pretend it's all fine? I don't have to deal with that. He's going to make me feel like a pile of dirt because that's what he is? I no longer feel that. I'm free. But for any young girls reading this, if you feel like crap throughout a relationship, that is NOT okay. Don't let yourself be dragged down merely because you think you are in love. And if you hear someone say similar words as I'm saying, don't dare think you're the exception because guess what? You're not. I thought I was. I know now my relationship and feelings were no exception to the status quo. If you feel extreme anxiety and pain because someone is ignoring you and not showing you love, that should show to you nothing less than that you're worth more. I'm incredibly lucky to have my best friend back home, my family over in Slovakia and everyone else supporting me and my decisions. You're never alone. If you crave a relationship, build one on love and don't obsess. If fear is holding you back from loving someone, take a step back and breathe. Think about what really matters. Will you marry this boy/girl? Can you imagine a HAPPY future with them? Do they treat you as kindly as you treat them? Will they always treat you this way? Have they ever intentionally made you feel bad? Do you think about what they're doing with a tightness in your chest all day? Does it frustrate you when they're online but won't pick up the phone or text you? Think about these things. Especially if internally you're questioning your worth and the relationship. The one thing I've finally learned from my last wretched relationship is that I need to trust my feelings and that I'm worth so much more than I realize. But for once I can breathe. For once I don't feel the weight of the world in my heart, for once I'm not rushing to finish high school because my boyfriend is done. Finally I'm me. Finally I'm happy. And guess what? My happiness is not due to a boy. I'm free.