Walk Away

Recently, I went to a debate camp thing. I do Policy debate which if anyone knows anything about it, it's hell. I decided that the camp would be a good idea for me to get better and for me to fully get a grasp on the topic and debate style. The camp started and all was good, I was enjoying it; the people were mostly younger than me. We started doing research and practicing debates and then everything around me came crashing down. I was suddenly so stressed and couldn't handle myself anymore, I was counting down hours before I could go home. That was when I realized that it's okay to say goodbye. It's okay to walk away and it's okay to not want to do something anymore. We are so hellbent over committing permanently to something without realizing that commitment doesn't have to be forever. It's okay to put yourself first. <3

Secrets and Lies

We've all got our little secrets or white lies but when is it too much? In all honesty, I've been exploring the world around my through the eyes of someone else. I pretended to be someone else. I basically lived two lives: The one that all my friends were aware of, and the one that no one knew about. So basically only about 30% of people who talked to me regularly, actually knew me. The first round of my double life, I became too stressed out and decided to kill one of me. The second time around I got shut down and now I realize it was for the better. Whatever you're lying about, don't convince yourself that it's okay, it's not. Lots of love.

Post-Warped/Flight #1

Warped was actually kinda fun, I met some bands. I met Escape the Fate, Our Last Night, The Amity Affliction, SayWeCanFly, Consider Me Dead, and some other cool people. It was really hot, I'm pretty sure I sweat out 1/2 of my body weight. The free Monster was actually bad because I drank far too much and got really jittery and in that heat, it wasn't a great idea. I crowd surfed and moshed- you know, the usual Warped endeavors. Today I had to wake up at 5 in order to make it to the airport to catch an early flight to LAX, then 2 more stops until my destination. If LAX lived up to the name I'd be happy but frankly it is the opposite of lax, its like a-lax because this stupid airport is stressful as nothing else. Finally got my MacBook fixed though, highlight of my day.

Warped Tour

Yesterday was he day for Warped in Arizona. Of course, I had to go. I bought tickets in November and have been waiting for yesterday all year. Sadly, last week my brother bailed on me (he was supposed to go but something came up.) I got to take my best friend. The day started with us standing in line at 9 in the morning. At 11 we were let in. I went to go buy things of course. I bought a pair of Vans, an Attila shirt, a Jeffree Star shirt, and then went to go watch Ghost Town and then Mayday Parade in order to kill time before I went to see the bands I genuinely cared about. First I met 2 members of my favorite band, Motionless in White. They signed the pictures I drew of them and that was it. Later, I went to go watch Atilla play. At 4:00 I met Jeffree Star. This man is the reason I am still standing strong and tall. Meeting him was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced at a concert. I told me he loved me and happily took the fan art that I drew for him. At 4:40 I watched Motionless in White until 5:00 when I went to go meet Attila. I had fan art for them to sign too and they loved it. They high fived me and told me it looked as if it was printed. Made my day. But the day only got better. While we were in line to meet Attila, I started talking to a guy. His name is Nathan. We got really close that night. I started feeling sick so I put my head down to get sun out of my face. He lifted my arms and hugged me for what seemed like forever. We hugged many times that night. He hugged me so tightly, I could feel my broken pieces being stuck back together. I really want to talk to him again. He genuinely made me smile. We ended up hanging out for about 5 hours.