High School Doesn't Have to Suck

From the day I entered elementary school, I was dreaming about being a teenager in high school. High School Musical and Hannah Montana made me believe that high school was all about driving to cool places, spending weekends with friends at the beach and living a fun, carefree life. Here’s the problem: gas is expensive, I don’t live near a beach and I care too much to be carefree. When I finally entered freshman year, my magical high school dream came to a sudden halt. It felt as though I went from a fun, bubbly kid to a self-conscious teen within seconds. The girls had nicer hair, they were thinner, they wore makeup and then there was me- a kid. Within a few days I had made a group of friends and things started looking better (still no High School Musical though, where was all the lunchtime singing?). My AP Government teacher told me to join a club. A cute senior dragged me into speech and debate, and of course I agreed to join. I was awkward, soft-spoken and shy at first, but once I found myself in the community, my voice spoke for itself and I made new friends that I stayed with through high school. Slowly, I was finding myself within my school. But then the bullies came along. I didn’t understand why someone felt the need to call me names and then run off giggling about it, but I shrugged it off. Classes got harder and kids got ruder as the year progressed. Upperclassmen told me that I was just a freshman, things change. Things didn’t change. I changed my perspective. Sophomore year hit me before I could even comprehend that freshman year was over. I made the decision to take 6 advanced placement classes; quickly I learned that stress was a thing. I spent my days flustered over what I had to accomplish, typically achieving next to nothing. Had I simply sat myself down and made a list of all the things that need to be done, how they would be done and by when I would finish them, I would not have been a stressed mess. Disorganization was my worst enemy but laziness became my best friend. Junior year was by far the most difficult, but I learned more than I thought I possibly could, both about myself and within the world. I started an anti-bullying foundation within my school because I wanted to make a change. This is probably the highlight of the last 4 years of my life because I know that I can make a change; I can change something that very directly affected me. The ACT and SAT were creeping up on me, I had another butt-load of AP classes (I think this proves that we forget pain after it’s gone), I had 2 competitive sport but none of that mattered- I was alone. If I could go back and change one thing, it’s forgetting my friend because of trying to fill out a resume for a college application. The best moments from high school that I have made so far are the ones that involved my friends, even prom. So here’s a quick list for all those that are going into high school: Join a club and get involved with your school. Don’t gossip. I cannot stress this enough. Manage your load in a way that you know you can handle. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Get a planner and regularly write out what you have yet to do. Make time for yourself. High school is a hard time in everyone’s life, but it’s what we make it. In the words of Hannah Montana, “life’s what you make it so let’s make it right.” Wake up with a smile, knowing you can make a difference.

Heartbreak

So there was this boy, he was a great boy... or so I thought. I was wrong. I dated him for 6 months, flew out to visit him twice and loved him unconditionally. We got along really well and had plans for the future which I held onto. Today I arrived in Slovakia but as I stepped off of the plane in Paris, I noticed that he blocked me on Tumblr and Facebook. I frantically texted him only to receive an immature reply of "I did warn you. But you thought you were different. Special. When all along, you were just another heart in my jar." I hate to break it to you hun, my heart is no longer yours. In fact, it never was. It hurts to lose him but I know its right. There are better people out there, I know I'll find them. I'm worth so much more than this pathetic excuse of a boyfriend. I'm worth it. I deserve it. I'll be okay. I am, after all, imperfectly perfect. "There's no such thing as failure" -Dream on Dreamer Love always, -me.

Post-Warped/Flight #1

Warped was actually kinda fun, I met some bands. I met Escape the Fate, Our Last Night, The Amity Affliction, SayWeCanFly, Consider Me Dead, and some other cool people. It was really hot, I'm pretty sure I sweat out 1/2 of my body weight. The free Monster was actually bad because I drank far too much and got really jittery and in that heat, it wasn't a great idea. I crowd surfed and moshed- you know, the usual Warped endeavors. Today I had to wake up at 5 in order to make it to the airport to catch an early flight to LAX, then 2 more stops until my destination. If LAX lived up to the name I'd be happy but frankly it is the opposite of lax, its like a-lax because this stupid airport is stressful as nothing else. Finally got my MacBook fixed though, highlight of my day.

Warped Tour 2015

Warped Tour is today- I'm really not as excited as I used to be. Maybe it's because it is extremely hot outside (113 degrees!) or simply because I'm growing up. Growing up kinda sucks. I hope I'll meet some cool people, I'm really excited to see The Amity Affliction. Too bad my close friends aren't going, can't blame them though. Leaving the country tomorrow- my schedule is utterly crazy. I got back from Massachusetts last Tuesday, today is Warped, tomorrow is a long series of flights and in the midst of all of that, I've had SAT prep sessions. Woo to being your average over achiever. Until next time.

Making Peace

Today is the International Day of Peace. Yay! I wanted to talk about the situation with the british boy. So I messaged the girl that I thought was just his ex and it turns out she was his girlfriend. She seemingly got kind of mad when I messaged her, which I understand entirely. Then, her bestfriend messaged me (which I didn't receive until three weeks after) which I guess I get but how was it my fault? He told me that the whole situation would've been avoided if I would've waited...but I guess that's something I've never been good at. So to everyone that this situation has involved, I am sorry. And I hope you forgive me for taking part in such a thing. I forgive you, and I do hope you will do the same. Gosh. I feel so bad. But I have forgiven myself. And that's what matters. I feel like I've successfully made peace with you. Who will you make peace with?

Back to school!

Hey guys, school started for me one week ago and it's already intense. I go to a college prep school (BASIS) and we already have 7 quizzes planned for this week. I hope I can make it through this year without breaking down too much! Is anyone here really good at chemistry? I may or may not need help. Thankfully AP Calculus and my other AP classes are going relatively well. I hope you all have a great school year! Remember: study hard and get A's. It's important. No matter how hard or stressful things will get, you can do it. I promise! Stand strong. Love always, -Sylvia <3

What if...

What if I'm not enough? What if he finds someone else? What if she learns to hate me? What if I'm not the only one that hates me? What if there is someone better for him out there? What if I can't make it? What if I lied? What if I'm beautiful? What if I'm worthy? What if there's more to me than this pain? What if I do make it through? What if I can't move on? What if I can't let go? What if I need you? What if I love you? What if I lose you? I'll be okay.

Warped Tour

Yesterday was he day for Warped in Arizona. Of course, I had to go. I bought tickets in November and have been waiting for yesterday all year. Sadly, last week my brother bailed on me (he was supposed to go but something came up.) I got to take my best friend. The day started with us standing in line at 9 in the morning. At 11 we were let in. I went to go buy things of course. I bought a pair of Vans, an Attila shirt, a Jeffree Star shirt, and then went to go watch Ghost Town and then Mayday Parade in order to kill time before I went to see the bands I genuinely cared about. First I met 2 members of my favorite band, Motionless in White. They signed the pictures I drew of them and that was it. Later, I went to go watch Atilla play. At 4:00 I met Jeffree Star. This man is the reason I am still standing strong and tall. Meeting him was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced at a concert. I told me he loved me and happily took the fan art that I drew for him. At 4:40 I watched Motionless in White until 5:00 when I went to go meet Attila. I had fan art for them to sign too and they loved it. They high fived me and told me it looked as if it was printed. Made my day. But the day only got better. While we were in line to meet Attila, I started talking to a guy. His name is Nathan. We got really close that night. I started feeling sick so I put my head down to get sun out of my face. He lifted my arms and hugged me for what seemed like forever. We hugged many times that night. He hugged me so tightly, I could feel my broken pieces being stuck back together. I really want to talk to him again. He genuinely made me smile. We ended up hanging out for about 5 hours.