Free at last

The thing with breakups is that it takes time. Before my ex and I broke up, I thought it would hurt endlessly to lose him but the thing is I'm free now. I'm free to be who I want to be. I can go to whatever university in whatever state I want to go to, not dictated by his choosing. He's going to certain university? I don't have to go there. He's going to live in a certain state? I don't have to live there. He's going to ignore me for days and then pretend it's all fine? I don't have to deal with that. He's going to make me feel like a pile of dirt because that's what he is? I no longer feel that. I'm free. But for any young girls reading this, if you feel like crap throughout a relationship, that is NOT okay. Don't let yourself be dragged down merely because you think you are in love. And if you hear someone say similar words as I'm saying, don't dare think you're the exception because guess what? You're not. I thought I was. I know now my relationship and feelings were no exception to the status quo. If you feel extreme anxiety and pain because someone is ignoring you and not showing you love, that should show to you nothing less than that you're worth more. I'm incredibly lucky to have my best friend back home, my family over in Slovakia and everyone else supporting me and my decisions. You're never alone. If you crave a relationship, build one on love and don't obsess. If fear is holding you back from loving someone, take a step back and breathe. Think about what really matters. Will you marry this boy/girl? Can you imagine a HAPPY future with them? Do they treat you as kindly as you treat them? Will they always treat you this way? Have they ever intentionally made you feel bad? Do you think about what they're doing with a tightness in your chest all day? Does it frustrate you when they're online but won't pick up the phone or text you? Think about these things. Especially if internally you're questioning your worth and the relationship. The one thing I've finally learned from my last wretched relationship is that I need to trust my feelings and that I'm worth so much more than I realize. But for once I can breathe. For once I don't feel the weight of the world in my heart, for once I'm not rushing to finish high school because my boyfriend is done. Finally I'm me. Finally I'm happy. And guess what? My happiness is not due to a boy. I'm free.